sometimes to other times..

Why do I get emotional every time the topic would be about family?

Around 3 years ago when I met around 20 4th year high school students. I was 19 at that time and they were around 16-18 years old, some were even same age with me,and few were older.

One of my many treasured learnings with them happened one hot afternoon inside the classroom. The topic at that time was about families. There was an article which I insisted on them to read. After the reading, hey said the article wasn’t that interesting! I got angry stating that it isn’t easy searching for lessons. One of them stood up and said, why would we bother to read someone else’s story where in fact that’s exactly the same with ours!

Then they were already narrating their own broken family stories. As the person who is in charge of the class, I knew I have to do or say something.

But how could I give reactions to something which I myself is trying to figure out.

There are times when I feel like I have come to terms with this completely. But, then there are some moments when I feel myself breaking into little pieces. There was this day I was on the jeepney and I overheard this man telling his daughter that the most important thing in the world was love, and I felt myself tearing up... wishing that it had been this way.

I do have a lot of amazing friends, and I often tell myself that the family that makes yourself can be greater than the one that you have.

Forgiveness, love and acceptance were not that open but we can feel it. I am still lucky to have them. Cause I never have to really experience a very difficult life. My life is still better compared to others, though I don’t want to compare…

People whom I have met envy me at least a little for that, and I feel proud about it.

I have been raised knowing the do’s and don’ts in life. I may stumble, but I knew they would always be there especially my mom..

But every so often I have this faint longing for a Walton's style family…

I will never have a perfect family... but sometimes I really wish that things were different.

haha sometimes…